Soap Box

I'd like to get a few things off my chest today...



I just had a customer pick up an order and tell me about an idea she had for the teachers at her school. She finished her thought by saying, "Well, you probably don't want anymore business. I know you're a Stay at Home Mommy. That's what I'll be in my next life."

Wow.


Really?

Just because I don't go someplace outside of my home to work everyday does not mean that I don't work.  And even if I did stay at home and do nothing else but be a Stay at Home Mom, there is nothing wrong with that. I work three hours in my home office in the morning while my son goes to preschool. I work again for about 2 hours in the afternoon while he naps. (That's 5 hours so far...are you counting?) Then after supper gets cleaned up, my wonderful husband bathes our son and puts him to bed while I work for another 3 or 4 hours. So there's my 8-9 hour day. (Apparently I need proof.) In busy seasons it could be a couple more hours per day. Oh and I often work weekends...as in both Saturday and Sunday for a few hours.

I'm not bragging or complaining. I'm just saying that let's not judge each other. Period. Ever. At all. Every one has different parenting styles....should we judge that? No way.

I get SO tired of hearing the battle between "working mom" and "SAHM mom". Really ladies, is it really a rite of passage or an accomplishment to be able to do one or the other? Are you "neglecting" your child if you are not home with them 24/7? Are you spoiled and lazy because you are home all the time?

I was a SAHM for 2 1/2 years before I started my business. Before that, I was a Corporate Workaholic. I graduated college in three years and immediately went to work when I was 20 years old as the Furniture Buyer for AmSouth Bank (now Regions Bank.) I traveled and worked all the time. For a good while, I was only home 4 days a week. I can't imagine doing that and raising a child at the same time. Serious kudos to Mommas who do that. I also can't imagine being a SAHM for at least 5-6 years and never having a break from the monotony. Kudos to Mommas who do that too. Wow.

After I had my son, I battled with mild PPD. I physically and emotionally couldn't go back to work after I had my son. My decision to be a SAHM was made for me. It took me a very, very long time to adapt to life without a corporate job. I felt like I had lost my identity. With the help of antidepressants, family and friends, I was able to overcome my anxiety and deep rooted sadness. I learned to enjoy being at home with my son and get to know him. We formed a bond...one that we didn't get to form when he was an infant, as most mothers and children do. Most importantly, I had come to accept that being a SAHM was OK! 

I've been on both sides of the spectrum, which is why it infuriates me for mothers to talk about the choices that others have made. Bottom line: NONE-YA. It's none of your business what others choose to do because, more than likely, you don't know the whole story. I do what I do because it's what works for me and my family. And I really don't owe anyone an explanation for it.

I actually had a Working Mom from my child's preschool ask me earlier this year if I worked. I told her yes, that I owned an embroidery business. Her response? "Well, I knew you did that little thing, but...."

News Flash: I run a business. I have a business license from my city. My business is a Limited Liability Company (LLC.) I file and pay monthly State Sales Tax. My office just happens to be in my formal dining room within my house. Why? Because it's free and no one charges me to rent this room.

Let's get this straight. As long as a mother loves her child, takes care of him, and provides for him, then she is a good mother. That may mean that she goes to work everyday, leaves her child with a caring individual and brings home a paycheck. Or that could mean that she stays at home and tries to manage entertaining a small child all day while trying not to lose her sanity because there's been no adult interaction for 10-12 hours straight. I applaud both efforts because regardless of where you physically are each day, you love and care for your child.

Working Mom, SAHM, WAHM....we are all good mothers. Just because you wear the hat of one of those titles does not give you the right to judge someone with a different hat. It's no different than comparing childhood milestones. DO NOT EVER DO THAT. Children grow and learn at different rates. Just because one decides to walk and one decides he likes to keep crawling does not make one child better than the other. We all have our struggles. Let's support each other instead of criticizing one another.

I'm going to leave it at that. Talk amongst yourselves...